LASTEST DEVELOPMENTS IN TODDLERLAND
Some of the more adorable things that have emerged from toddlerland over the past couple weeks:
- Noah is obsessed with all things related to our cat - feeding her, cleaning out her “pee pee box” (although, obviously, we don’t let him do that), playing games her, and cuddling with her on the couch in the evenings.
- Noah has learned to say “You’re mean!” in the cutest, not-so-threatening voice ever. This is a language milestone (expressing emotion) we had hoped to tackle much earlier, but it’s so encouraging seeing him articulating opinions even if he’s saying something not-so-nice.
- On that same topic, since his speech has been a bit behind, he’s tried to supplement his language by very dramatic reenactments and hand movements to relate stories to us. It’s hilarious to see him fall off his bike and then run up to us and reenact the entire ordeal (even though we saw it happen).
- He’s LOUD and he thinks it’s hilarious. The more you tell him to “shush”, the louder he gets. He bellows out “OH YEAH!” at the top of his lungs at least a few times at the grocery store when I drop food in the cart that he likes. It’s actually sort of embarrassing, but I can’t help but laugh when he does it (I probably shouldn’t encourage this!).
- When taking his daily gummy multivitamins (he gets two), he tries to trick me into giving him three. He’ll say, “Two, Mama?” and hold up three fingers. I’ll hand him two and count them out and he’ll say, “Mama! Two!” and hold those three fingers up again. When I tell him he’s actually got three fingers up and I count them out, he’ll smirk and say, “Nooooo, it’s two!
- He wants to pick out at least one item from his wardrobe to wear every day. Whether that be his shirt, shoes, or socks, he interjects his opinion on what he should wear. Snow boots on a 75 degree day? Sure, why not.
What cute new developments are happening with your little ones?
AN UPDATE ON PRESCHOOL
J and I decided against enrolling Noah in the local preschool that would have provided him early intervention therapy for his speech issues. Initially, we were incredibly excited about the prospect but the longer we had to stew about it, and the longer it took for the process to be complete, we realized that it wasn’t the right plan for him at this particular moment. There are several reasons for this:
- While we’ve heard excellent things about the program from acquaintances with children, I wasn’t entirely impressed with what I witnessed when Noah went in for his interview. The basement where the kids come in from recess was an absolute wreck, with broken and dirty toys scattered everywhere. Then I saw one teaching assistant yelling at a young boy who dropped his coat when he was supposed to hang it on a rack. The entire group of kids had come in from outside play and were hurriedly racing to get their things put away so they could get involved in an indoor activity. He was at the end of the line and was already missing out on the fun the other kids were having. And when I say that the teacher was yelling, she was YELLING. It seemed like such an overreaction and that’s definitely not the type of “discipline” I would want Noah to encounter on a daily basis. I also found the administrative staff to be a bit brash and not entirely professional, at least in our interactions.
- There was a waiting period to get him enrolled. The school needs to complete paperwork and an in-home evaluation first. That would have made his first day just this week. The school year ends in May so he would have only been in the program for about six weeks before it would have ended. We felt like it would be too disruptive to his routine to place him in a daily program only to have it end just six weeks later.
WHAT WE’RE READING - APRIL EDITION
(I’m hoping to do one of these posts monthly!)
We are huge proponents of early reading in the Noah Baby household. Noah has been struggling with his speech development above all so we’ve consistently integrated lap reading into his nighttime routine to help boost his language skills. Here are a few our current favorites:
1. I’m not Santa!
This is an adorable story that would make a great cartoon because there’s so much dialogue. Baby Hare mistakes Baby Owl for Santa and antics ensue. Noah calls it the “Ho-Ho book” and loves it year round.
2. The Great Paper Caper
I’m a sucker for children’s books with great illustrations and this one tops my list. It’s full of mystery and intrigue and keeps Noah guessing the outcome even though we’ve read it many times over.
3. Where the Wild Things Are
Who doesn’t love this book? The hero of the story was the inspiration behind Noah’s first Halloween costume with us (costume DIY can be seen here).
4. Olivia Saves the Circus
Olivia is a naughty little pig but I can’t help but love these stories. This particular story has it all: scooter riding, tightrope walking, lion taming, and bed jumping. Noah loves to act out and talk about each of the activities she does in the book while we’re reading along.
5. The Snowy Day
Another classic that I read as a child that Noah adores just as much. Noah hasn’t seen an epic snowstorm yet so this story provides the allure of something magical.
6. Excuse Me: A Little Book of Manners
I try to stock as many “learning” books in Noah’s library as possible and this one certainly fits the bill. Each page presents a scenario and then engages the child to provide what the “polite” response would be (i.e. Q - “You broke your sister’s toy. What do you say?” A - “I’m sorry.”). It’s so encouraging to see Noah get it right each time and it’s allowing him to practice basic language skills.
What are some of your little one’s favorites?
BRAVEHEART, THE MOTORCYCLIST
Noah Baby,
Yesterday morning, at 6am, you decided to wake early and begin very spirited play. I was stirred from a deep, deep sleep and dreams of lottery winnings when I caught a glimpse of you coming down the hallway from your room to ours. Condemnations for your raucous behavior were about to impart from my lips when I noticed that not only were you riding your motorcycle, wearing a camouflage army man helmet, but that you had set up your small, motorized toy motorcyclist right next to you and you were racing to an imaginary finish line (our bed, presumably). You were chanting “BICYCLE!, BICYCLE!, BICYCLE” (enunciated very clearly as BI-SICK-COOL) with one little fist pumping in the air. If Braveheart rode a motorcycle, and had tiny toy friends to join him in battle, I’m certain this is exactly what he would have looked like.
Love,
Mama
ON DISCIPLINING A THREE YEAR OLD
I’m going to be honest with you: when it comes to disciplining a toddler, I have no idea what I’m doing. It has been trial and error and, honestly, we’ve yet to find a method that works exclusively for the changing moods of our (very) dramatic youngin. As this article points out, there is no single method that is right for all families. The author states: “since people are not identical cookie cutters, both the parents and the child need various methods to choose from in order to find the approach that fits with their family and their lifestyle.” And she couldn’t be more right. Here is a summary of some of the methods we’ve tried and how they’ve fared in our household.
The low-down: We give Noah two to three minute time-outs when he fails to respond to our commands or when he gets all hellion-screaming-banshee on us. Our exclusive time-out spaces include a corner in our kitchen, the bottom step leading to our upstairs, and one of the chairs in our living space. We’ve never used his bed or his room because I think I once read something about children associating that space with negativity and not wanting to sleep/spend time in a space they are sent to when “bad”. That seemed to make sense in my spaced out brain.
The outcome: Noah either thinks this is a game or he’s wildly pissed that he’s being restricted. In both instances he tries every way to get out of his time-out space. Sometimes I’m simply able to redirect him back but other times I have to actually physically place him there. Regardless of some of the difficulties, this method seems to work at diverting Noah and calming him down in some instances (as long as we catch him before he’s in total meltdown mode).
The low-down: I saw this method first touted on the bonbon mini blog. The idea is that the parent removes the child from the situation that is causing the tantrum or bad behavior and sits with them in a calming, quiet place.
The outcome: This works well for really bad tantrums. It’s a way to connect with Noah and say, “Hey dude, I understand. Being a little guy sucks. No one understands you but everyone tells you what to do. It’s not fair.” Time-ins sometimes occur after particularly unruly time-outs (when I’ve misjudged how far we’ve stepped into total meltdown mode). Near bedtime fussiness is usually treated with a sympathetic time-in. J is a big fan of the time-ins. I’d say it’s his number one tool in his bag of parenting tricks.
Positive Language/Redirecting/Gentle Discipline
The low-down: This approach employs methods that I’m sure most parents use in some capacity but the biggest challenge for us has been making requests in affirmative or positive language rather than negative. Tackling that charge was inspired by an acquaintance with a youngish child who implements this type of “discipline” or direction exclusively. She never says no to her child. I hear that he rules the roost as a result but after seeing her interact positively with Noah utilizing this method, I figured I could learn a lesson or two and just try it out.
The outcome: When I first tested this method exclusively it lasted, maybe, two days. Kicking the “no” word was like kicking a really bad nicotine habit. I just couldn’t do it. And with the redirection, I caught myself saying things like, “You can’t lick the handle of the shopping cart but you can lick your shirt.” What? The absurdity was killing me. Of course, I still do redirect him when I can and I try to be mindful of praising all of his good behavior but this isn’t an exclusive method for us. There’s no way I’m going to try to say something gentle or positive to my child when I’m across the room and I notice that he’s pushed a chair up to our kitchen counters and is leaning over the hot stove, trying to flip bacon frying in a pan (this happened). The only logical thing that comes out of my mouth in that instance is a very loud, “NO! STOP!”
[My Abridged Version of] Happiest Toddler on the Block
The low-down: I’ve only read bits and pieces of this book so I can’t give a full critique of the method. My understanding is that the method relates that when a child throws a tantrum it’s simply because they aren’t being understood and because their brains are “primitive”. The quickest way to defuse a tantrum is to communicate with the toddler on their level (which I feel like we are able to address with Time-Outs and Time-Ins while maintaining our I’m-the-parent-you’re-the-child roles). The difference with this method versus others is that part of it calls you to speak/act in “toddler-ese” which means you actually stomp, scream, and act like a toddler yourself to demonstrate to the child that you recognize their frustration.
The outcome: I was skeptical but nevertheless, I tried it. I never tried it in public but I did try it a few times at home. Noah just thought I was just mocking him, even when I said things like, “I know, it makes me so mad!”. It just seemed to exacerbate his tantrums. Fail. Maybe I need to read the entire book? The other ideas Dr. Karp purports about attention, praise, and spending time together seem logical enough.
The low-down: The ability calm chaos and silence your child through a single threat or by throwing a particularly stern look their way.
The outcome: I’d give this about a 2% success rate. Noah apparently knows my poker face and the threat of a time-out when we get home while we’re out at the grocery store is like telling him he’ll be in time-out next week. He hasn’t developed an advanced sense of time and space yet or he’s just calling bullshit.
Any methods you find particular successful or just a complete disaster with your little ones?
