BLOG PARTY!
Hey there! I’m linking up with the 5 Minutes for Mom Blog Party!
My name is Mary. This is me. I’m a foster mama*, wife, wannabe writer, and project manager by trade. I’m introverted and nerdy. I’ve never come across a craft beer or piece of chocolate I didn’t like. I aspire to be more crafty and a heck of a lot crunchier.
This handsome fellow is my husband J. He’s a musician by heart but works in advertising for the paycheck. He’s my best friend and I couldn’t be luckier to call him mine.
Noah is our dapper little dude. His top five favorite things are juice, bicycles, trains, trucks, and Caillou. He is 100% boy and has quite the penchant for all vehicles, really. He amazes me every day with his spirit and unconditional love.
This is our little family and these are our adventures.
I started blogging a year ago as a means to capture the special moments of child rearing. I wanted my blog to be a virtual baby book to reflect on our experiences and the unique journey we were taking in foster parenting. In those efforts, I’ve found a great community of other foster and adoptive parents who have shared their insights and inspiring stories. I hope that you find my little bit of the blogosphere somewhat intriguing. Stop by and say hello!
You can also find me here: Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest
Some of my favorite posts are linked here: Crazy Shit People Say to Foster Parents, Trusting that Mama Gut, Portrait of a Foster Family, and Until There Was You
*J and I became parents through a relative foster placement. You can read more about our story here and our complete foster diary here.
{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.
ON BUDGETING
Image via flickr
J and I have struggled with our budget ever since we started living together and sharing expenses. While we always make our bills on time and never have any trouble providing the basics for our family, we find ourselves eagerly awaiting our next paycheck every month because we’ve overspent. And savings? Well, I can’t even touch that subject. We’re totally blowing it. I once worked with a guy who, at age 23, had purchased a home AND had $40,000 in savings because he was so stringent with his spending. I was young at the time too and used to think he was a prude when he refused to join our coworkers in daily lunches out. I mean, what did he do for fun? But I bet his savings is threefold now and here I am writing a post about budgeting. I would gladly exchange those lunches now for a hefty savings account.
I grew up in a family that struggled financially. My father was absent, both emotionally and in a basic supportive role, and my mother was ill with a debilitating illness that prevented her from working for most of my childhood. She received some support through the state but wasn’t awarded social security disability until I turned 18. My basic necessities were provided for, for the most part, but things like field trips, school photos, extracurricular activities - much of that was absent from my day-to-day reality.
Birthdays and Christmas were supplemented by my aunts and grandmother but it never really did compare to the things my cousins and some of my friends at school had. I’m not bitter about any of it. If anything, I feel like I had a more enriching upbringing because of it. As an adult I now realize that material things do not bring happiness - they bring burden more than anything. I was a voracious reader since books were free from the library and my mother was always sure to do things like load me and my sisters on the bus during the holiday season to ride downtown to see all the free Christmas displays in the department store windows. When my two eldest sisters were out of school and started working they were able to contribute even more by buying me clothes, taking me to the mall - things that most middle class families do that they don’t even blink about.
Noah is a budding photographer.
SEASON OF CHANGE
Noah’s mother graduated from rehab this past week. She is now 6+ months sober. Saturday morning she moved into transitional housing just a few miles from the rehab facility to begin a work program administered by the same group. She hasn’t been able to make unmonitored phone calls in over seven months. The few times we did speak, her calls were limited. Her new placement affords her a lot more freedom while still providing the structure and support she’ll need to continue her therapy. She called me Saturday morning to share the good news and just to chat - like normal sisters do. Last night, while clearing off some old voicemails and text messages taking up space on my cellphone, I came across this incoherent, drug induced message she sent me just a few weeks before she entered treatment:
August 20, 2011
“If u dop childdupo oi rt re”
(To this day I’m still not certain what she meant to write but the effects of the drugs she was taking often left her drowsy and in a stupor.)
This was the message I received from her yesterday morning:
April 8, 2012
Hey Mary. Happy Easter. I love you.
We’re in a season of change.
